There have been a multitude of occasions where I get so lost in the here-and-now that I literally forget to breathe.
Life shouldn't be this complex.
How do you simplify it enough to enjoy it and still move forward?!
The past few years have been full of self-seeking , for me. I know that I will grow as an individual everyday , but right now, I see 3 monumental moments that really depict the journey of a woman. Granted I did things a little backwards... but everything outside of these moments, literally seems so unimportant.
1. The moment that you are blessed with giving life and become a mother.
Now, don't confuse this with getting pregnant and 'taking care' of a child. I am talking about part of your soul literally grabbing ahold of your being and turns your world upside down! The part of a woman's soul that brings pride, intrigue, instinct, love and nurturing into your every moment. It's a monumental moment when you come to a place where you understand that your sole purpose on this Earth is to give life to your child and raise that child to be nothing less than a beautiful, open-minded and kind heart. It's more than changing diapers, feeding and clothing an infant. It's more than spending all your time with him/her, or working your life away to give them the best. It's that moment when nothing else is the world matters except doing what a mother does best, loving, teaching and nurturing. I completely lose myself in my child.
2. The moment when you find the person that God created for you!
All of our lives, we are so consumed with wanting to be loved, that we never take a moment to recognize that sometimes, we are settling for something that isn't even worth our time. I read a quote that really struck a chord with me.
Sometimes you don't know what your heart wants, until you are presented with what it needs.All of these 'types' I thought I had, the ideals I had put in place and the petty checklist I pay so much attention to , have all fallen short. That 6'4 lacrosse player with great hair, green eyes, gorgeous smile, likes animals and enjoys long walks on the beach turned out to be a narcissistic jerk. Surprise! The nice guy who was genuinely interested in what I was saying, was content talking about life over a glass of wine, romantic and caring at every chance and never did anything wrong, was physically .... well ... not doing it for me.
As if finding a soul mate wasn't hard enough as it was, now you have to be more concerned with finding a man fit for your child. Guess what!? It has made it easier. Think about all the men you would have given a chance before, but wouldn't give a second glance to now that you are a mother. The men that are worthy of our time may be far and few in between, now, but realistically, shouldn't it have been that way all along? Our children give us a new set of standards that should have been in working order before they even came along! There would have been far less hurt if we would have recognized what we need, rather than what we think we want!
Instead of the perfect man candy I picture in my dreams with the washboard abs, perfect tan and perfect smile, I now know what I need. A man! A real man! One that knows how to be the man of the house and take care of his family, emotionally and physically knows how to handle a woman, understands the importance of his children and the time he has with them, has a higher understanding of what life is about, openly communicates, laughs and enjoys life and prides himself on being a good person. Not to say that physical attraction isn't important, but those expectations change.
When we stop trying to force something to work, we give room for what is meant to work. And when God thinks the time is right, he will send that person he has designed to be so monumental in your growth as a woman.And in my case, someone perfect to be a father figure in Amelia's life and add to her growth and development in ways that I m not sure I could.
3. The moment when you find yourself!
This is the most monumental moment in your life. When you find what you were brought here to do. You find your passion, your niche and you run with it! You learn to listen to yourself, trust yourself and truly basque in the wonder of everything that you are! You understand that there is nothing wrong with who you are or the way you think, because it is unique to your soul. When you learn to stand on your own two feet, nobody by your side, and you can feel empowered as a woman, feel alive and content. No man , no friend, no other person can ever bring you to this place, nor rip this feeling away from you! While I truly believe that your soul-mate and your children are monumental to your growth , i also believe it is in a much different way than the journey you take on your own! Be grateful for who and what you are, take pride in the beauty you possess! Don't allow anyone to belittle this moment, or take away its importance. We will seek ourselves out until the end of time. Experience all you can. Appreciate every moment, big and small. Give thanks to God for allowing you to open your heart in a way that you can truly see right into it.
Enjoy the journey!