Mildly Selfish Momma Moments.

Before I became a blog writer, I was an avid blog reader. Still am. I love the 'put it all out on the table' type of stuff and I so desperately wish I could be one of those women. . . Alas I am not, but I've got some ideas (stay tuned for that train wreck)!
Anywho. I recently read a blog in which a woman wrote about all of the fabulously selfish moments of motherhood. I laughed until I cried, mostly because it was all so true (even though I would never publicly admit it . . . until now)!!!
I'll be honest . . . I think I am a pretty awesome mom. Could I be better? Sure! Couldn't we all? I love reading/writing about the deep, heartfelt, 'tug at your heart strings' momma moments, but is that honestly all there is to it? Now , let me say that I deeply love and cherish every moment with my child, and every cheesy line comes from the bottom of my heart. . . but mommas can be selfish, too!

So here are mine. The most insane, ridiculously shallow and selfish moments of my short career.

1. I breastfeed.

I have been moderately passionate about breasfeeding from the start. I think it is a true gift from God to equip women with an ability to nourish their child. The bond you build, the health-benefits they reap . . . etc  . . . It is incomparable to anything else and it truly brings me joy. Now, with that being said, let's get to the nitty gritty.

As a fellow blogger wrote, "Why would I opt out of something that burns 500-800 calories while I sit on my butt, watch cartoons and eat all the chocolate in sight... all while snuggling my baby?" I used to love going to the gym! Now, I chase a baby energizer bunny on steroids around the house all day. Gym? Probably not. I am smaller than I was pre-pregnancy and I eat a row of oreos on the regular. I think I'll keep it up.
I can calm a fussy baby at any moment or time. No guesswork necessary. As long as she isn't hurt, it doesn't matter what is wrong, a little nursey and she is good to go. No colic, no screaming baby for hours on end, little trouble getting her to bed . . . It sells itself right there.
When going out of the house, I can't forget my breasts. I forget diapers, wipes, toys, snacks, snot suckers and everything else under the sun, at least, once a week. I can handle just about (I am going to emphasize just about )  any situation without those things, with the exception of a total blow out,  as long as she has her nursey. The fewer things to remember the better, considering the complete jumble my brain has become.

2. I don't have to be your friend anymore.
There are so many people that I genuinely didn't need in my life, simply because they weren't healthy friendships, but I didn't have the heart to just walk away. When you have a baby, they don't want to be your friend anymore anyway. I'm not enough fun for them anymore.  See ya later. Little do they know that when they call because they need a ridiculous favor, or want you to go out on the town and you say, "I'm sorry I can't, I have the baby." , you have the freedom to hang up and make the most ridiculous noises you never dreamed of making,  crawling around on the floor like a wild animal, listening to the sweetest most sincere cackle from your boring, fun sucking child. =]

3. I watch Disney all day everyday.
Amelia is obsessed with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and I love it! I think it is the cutest show, and it's educational! Also, I really don't enjoy movies made for adults. It's always violent or scary or sad, and you always end up with a heavy heart at the end because of all the cursing and vulgarity. Enter baby. Violent, scary, inappropriate movies are no longer allowed =] You want to socialize? We will gladly switch on some old school Disney movies and laugh until we cry because they are genuinely funny, clean  and happy! And at the end of the day, who can't use a little more laughter and clean humor in their lives?

4.I can drink as much coffee as I want.
"Wow! Why do you drink so much coffee? You know that's not healthy" You want to know why?  I'm a mom. That's all it takes. That is all you have to say and whoever asked you that potentially suicidal question will back down . . . immediately! No explanation needed =]

5. I spend more time with the people I love.
When all is said and done, the only people that really stick around often are the people that love you and your children. So in other words, family. Everyone else just kind of fades away and guess what? It's awesome! I have so much more fun acting like a complete goob around people that already love me, and they act just as silly! I laugh so much more with those people than I ever have with anyone else, and Amelia has the time of her life.  Not to mention, I get a break from lugging around the ol' big booty Judy!

6. I get an escape, anytime, anyplace.
I get an escape during the annoying family gatherings that last 12 hours and I never see my baby, the lady in the supermarket that wants to keep pinching her fat little thighs or any other situation that irritates me to no end. When momma says baby is hungry or over-stimulated (which is actually true sometimes) that means you hand her over and we go find a private, quiet room to nurse while momma checks Facebook/Twitter and collects herself for another round with the crowd.

7. You are forced to take more naps.
When you nurse a sweet little innocent baby to sleep, you can't very well put her down. So what do you do? Take a nap with her of course. Happy momma makes a happy baby right? (I hope that is actually justifiable haha) I have so many other things that i should be doing but .... I don't =]

 Needless to say, motherhood is the most selfless thing you will ever do! You literally give everything you were and everything you are, to your child. And honestly, its wonderful. People talk about sacrifices but I've not been face-to-face with something I consider a sacrifice I had to make because of my flower. I thoroughly enjoy every result of her existence.

But . . . there are definitely some perks and more than a few mildly selfish momma moments.

Firsts.

Little Amelia Flower is dreaming in her crib as we speak, and all I can do is reflect on the abundance of recent firsts. It is such a bitter-sweet emotion, knowing that your baby is learning and developing so wonderfully. I feel selfish even considering wasting a wish on freezing time, but it goes by much quicker than I  am comfortable with. Every first is so incredibly joyous . . . until Momma Bear remembers that it will soon fade into a memory . . .

*pause* wait for the waterworks.

Everyday brings a new first. Some far less exciting for you to read about so . . .

I'll share some of my favorites . . .

Any and all sturdy objects are now subject to be used as a pull-up station. And that is no joke. She can't stand up enough! Fortunately for us, we caught her on video midst a strenuous squat routine. Amelia would pull herself up at the table and squat down to the floor, then back up again. Very quickly at first, but as she progressed she moved a little slower, paired with a grunt/cry/whine. I think it's safe to say she could feel the burn.

Amelia is quite the actress. After a long week of colds and coughs . . . I was becoming a little worried that my symptoms had subsided and hers had not. Come to find out, every time Mommy coughed , so did A. Matter of fact, anytime anyone coughed, it was followed with the most precious, yet entirely pathetic cough you have ever heard! I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard! Now we are at a place where I can say, "Amelia, are you sick?" ... and here it comes.

Just in time for football season, Amelia began sticking both of her arms straight up in the air. TOUCHDOWN!! It's been several months since we learned this trick, but she has learned to do it on command and thinks she is the cutest thing in town.

My personal favorite is the kiss. Initially I showed her how to kiss "the baby" in the mirror, and she caught on  rather quick. Now it has evolved to her kissing EVERYTHING, open mouth and tongue out . . . I love it, slobber and all.

Growth.

Yesterday marks Amelia Flower's 8 months in this world. Boy has it flown by!
Everyday , I see something change in her eyes. . . She looks at the world with such an open mind and innocent heart. Yet, her eyes seem so wise and old. . . Like she knows something about life that I have yet to learn.
I think she does.
I also think she knows the ways of life that I have somehow forgotten over the years.
The beauty. The innocence.
I can see it in her.

We had an amazing past few weeks. Amelia is standing at every opportunity and there is no stopping her.
She is a very strong-willed little girl. I wonder where she gets that? ... :)
She has no fear, aside from always wanting her momma close by. She isn't afraid to take off into a room full of strangers and put on a show, just to make her presence known. My little ham.
I know it sounds silly but, I think I have a music loving little lady. She has pounded on the piano, strummed the strings of a guitar and uses her surroundings as her own personal drum set. (She has had a bit of guidance from someone we are both rather fond of :)) But my favorite is when they sing their hearts out in the car, and she doesn't miss a note.

Food is another exciting subject for A. I have never seen a child so excited and ready to eat, at any moment! She practically lunges at anything edible in her sight. Of course mom can never eat a warm meal, as I'm busy picking little bites for her to try.
We nurse just as much as we always have, in addition to the other food she eats. Growing girl!
I've decided to continue nursing until she is, at least, a year old. And maybe even longer. Why stop nourishing her little body with what God had intended me to give her? The thought of stopping before we are ready , makes me cringe, even though the occasional freedom would be nice! And the biting is far from enticing! There have been several occasions that I have been scared to look down!

Nobody ever said it was easy.

I love seeing her personality grow. She was born with one, but she gets funnier as the day go by, and she KNOWS she is funny!
She likes to hide and play peekaboo and blow raspberries every chance she gets. (Another learned habit) haha
She is also turning out to be quite the sweet girl I hoped she would be. She loves to share.
We have been trying to keep our church attendance regular (even tho an hour of sitting is her max) and I can see God working in ways I had only hoped for. So many of my aspirations as a mother , have been validated. I know we are on the right track!

I can't wait to see what the next month has in store for us.
I have a feeling it will include some walking!

A New Year

2013

I don't hope for change, I WILL ...

.be even more devoted to motherhood than I am now
.gain courage and strength
.fall in love
.not walk away from opportunity
.commit more random acts of kindness
.be a more considerate sister, daughter, granddaughter & friend
.set a high priority to my health and fitness
.grow closer to The Lord
.find a passion to learn and live according to His word
.never be a bystander in an act of negative influence
.tell my daughter how much she is loved, everyday
.sing more lullabies
.discover a new talent
.knit more
.take more pictures
.not fear to feel
.over use ' I love you'
.paint my nails more often
.give a prayer of thanks each night
.be a testimony to change
.extend a hug at every opportunity
.evolve a better sense of imagination
.let life happen
.try to control my control issues
.only procrastinate for Amelia
.rollerblade
.help my sisters move to college
.love unconditionally
.be more selfless
.do laundry twice a week
.lay down each night being a better person than the night before
.not lose my Chapstick as often
.trust God with my troubles
.read more
.become a better woman
.make time for friends
.drink just as much coffee
.nurse Amelia for as long as we want to
.not allow society to persuade my parenting plan
.be a disciplinarian
.be proactive in all I do
.call each cashier/server by name
.cook more often
.keep my promises
.learn
.grow